#as someone who also sucks at seeing things

[rsepetals]

glasses. thinking about loser! choso who begsssss you to ride his face while he wears his glasses. nsfw bc im a freak, face ridin’, bj, public sex, sub!choso. drabble. minors do not interact!

loser!choso whom everyone labeled as weird. he often exhibited awkwardness, frequently stumbling over his words and never truly finding his place among his peers. the students on the rather small campus often speculated about how he had managed to win your affection, ultimately attributing it to financial means. they found it difficult to believe that someone like choso kamo could be with someone like you without some form of concealed advantage.

choso’s awkwardness was often the subject of whispers and jokes, but you saw past all of that. you saw the kindness in his heart, the way he would go out of his way to help others, even if it meant making a fool of himself. you appreciated his genuine nature, his ability to make you laugh, and the way he looked at you as if you were the most precious thing in the world.

choso was also great in bed. shockingly so. at first you could barely believe how great it was, how great he was. you didn't know how to explain it, but you couldn't get enough of it.

“oh cho,” soft moans continuously bubble from your raw throat, hands shakily pulling against dark roots as you glide swollen lips across his face. clammy fingers grip into your plush thighs, pulling you harder against his mouth as he sucks on your clit, his nose digging into your slick folds, tongue hungrily lapping. “feels so good,” your head hangs low as you bite your lips, a poor attempt to stifle your whines in the back of the library.

he loves the way the rims press into the sides of his face and dig into the bridge of his nose with each roll of your thick hips. his face soaked, your wetness covering his chin. his glasses foggy, yet his eyes never leave yours. he watches you come undone above him, his cock achingly hard. his mouth watering as he licks his lips clean of you.

still quivering, you slide off of him, kneeling on the floor. effortlessly your fingers pull him through the zipper of his jeans. he gasps when you grab his base, and begin stroking him. his breaths are ragged, back arching, hand fisting his backpack beside him as he bucks his hips into your warm palm. “m’not gonna last i-i-fuckkkk.” you’ve barely touched the man and he’s already falling apart. sweat beading down his forehead despite the temperature in the old building being a cool seventy.

he pulsates, pre cum oozing out of his slit and dribbling down his pretty shaft, coating your fingers. “it’s okay baby boy.” you hum softly pressing a kiss to the tip, swiping your tongue along the head, tasting him. a long drawn out whine has him clamping his hands over his mouth, hips stuttering.

“oh my god, oh my god.” he’s an incoherent mess as you slowly take him in your mouth, inch by inch, until you can feel him hitting the back of your throat. choso is huge, the thickest you had ever had and it was always a struggle to take him fully.

he grunts as you start bobbing your head up and down, his head thrown back and his toes curling in his vans. you hollow your cheeks, sucking him, stroking his base, using your spit as lube to slick him up. he’s close, you can tell by the way his hips are thrusting lazily into your mouth. his thighs tense and his balls tightening. you continued your ministrations, your free hand cupping and rolling his heavy sack, squeezing him.

“love you s’much!” his hands pull gently on your hair, tugging you off him as his release spurts all over his chest. you pant, your glossy eyes wide and your pupils blown, hand steadily pumping him through his orgasm. “that’s it sweet boy, let it out.”

he’s seeing white as his head tilts forward. he watches with a gulp as you run your finger along his cum covered chest, scooping some of his release and pushing it past your lips, licking it off your fingers. he can’t help the blush that paints his cheek and you chuckle, tucking him back into his pants with a forehead kiss.

loser!choso, who really loves his girlfriend and also really needs a new shirt.

𝑅𝒮𝐸𝒫𝐸𝒯𝒜𝐿𝒮 all rights reserved. comments, reblogs and likes are highly appreciated ♡︎

[etherealmelodys]

Choi Su-Bong/ Thanos

NSFW Alphabet

Warning: Talks of oral, penetrative sex, squirting, dacryphilia, mentions of drugs, Thanos just being himself.

A/N: ong I'm sick of ppl writing Thanos like he's abusive, my purple haired king would never!! But tbh he's lucky he ain't real or I'd suck the skin right off his dick ykwim

A - Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Contrary to popular belief, I don't think he'd be that bad at aftercare. He's not amazing at it don't get me wrong, but he's not gonna just leave you alone with nothing. He definitely might offer you some sort of drug he's got on his roster, but I believe he'd clean you up and make sure that you're feeling okay and get confirmation that he wasn't too rough with you.

B - Body Part (Their favorite body part on you and themselves)

Nobody can tell me that this man isn't obsessed with his tongue oml. To him, it's a gift from the gods that he gets to use it to taste every part of you. From your soft lips to your breasts, all the way down to your cunt. He's an ass man oh my. He loves the way it jiggles when he fucks you from behind, how soft and smooth it is when he grips it while you ride him.

C - Cum (Anything to do with cum)

You cannot tell me this man doesn't love cumming all over your back or ass. He's obsessed with the way it slides down the curve of your ass, coating his thighs in the substance. He adores how messy the whole process is, wanting to see you covered in just him, it could get him higher than any drug he's tried.

D - Dirty Secret ( Self-explanatory)

He just wants one night where he can do whatever he wants to your tits. Whether it be playing with your nipples, leaving hickeys on them, massaging them, or more importantly squishing them together and fucking them, his tip going between your plump lips every time he thrusts up into them.

E - Experience (How experienced are they?)

Did y'all see all the people that swarmed him once they knew who he was? Imagine what it was like outside the games. He is well-experienced when it comes to fucking someone, but not having an intimate moment with another person.

F - Favorite Position (What positions do they like the most?)

He loves any position that puts him in a position of control. He loves reverse cowgirl especially because it gives him full access to the sight of your ass. He's also a fan of doggy style, again due to the sight he gets of your ass but also because of how deep he can get in that position.

G - Goofy (How serious are they in the moment? Do they tease you?)

He is teasing the shit outta you I'm so sorry. I don't think he has the capability not to tease you. It just gets him so worked up seeing your eyes well up with tears at his comments, it just makes his cock throb.

H - Hair (What’s the hair situation down there)

I honestly cannot decide with him. For one he gives off the vibes that he's bald down there, finding the hair to be an annoyance. But also I don't think he'd care enough about it to shave it and just let it grow. For the sake of the argument, I'm just gonna say he shaves his shit bald.

I - intimacy (How romantic are they in the moment?)

I feel like there are some times when he can be very romantic if you need it. Usually, he's the type to go rough and fast. But occasionally he can be slow and sensual, giving you gentle kisses and touches, treating you as if you were the most delicate thing he's ever handled.

J - Jack Off (How often do they touch themselves?)

He jacks off very frequently, about every other day tbh. I don't think he'd do it to porn often, and if he did it would be to an actor who looks like you. But most of the time he does it to the memory of you, whether it be you grinding down on his face making those pretty noises he loves so much, or him fucking into you, your whines the only thing he can hear besides the slapping of your skin against his.

K - Kinks (What are their kinks?)

You cannot tell me this man isn't into Exhibitionism. He loves the idea of you guys almost getting caught in the middle of the act, he swears he feels himself get even harder at the sight of you trying to quiet yourself down in an attempt to not get caught. He's also into dacryphilia, seeing you cry from the overwhelming amount of pleasure he's causing you makes him cum right on the spot.

L - Location (Where do they prefer to have sex?)

He would be into anything public, bathroom stalls, fingering you under a table, having you bounce on his dick in a dark crowded club, he's into it all.

M - Motivation (What turns them on?)

Seeing you in any type of revealing clothing, especially skirts, immediately gets him hard. Seeing you in lingerie is by far the sexiest thing you could wear in front of him. He'd want you to keep it on as he bends you over, pulling the lingerie to the side and eating you out to his heart's content.

N - No (What are some things they’ll never do?)

He's not really into the whole submissive role, he always wants to be the one in charge, at least during any sexual interaction. He's also not into doing anything that can seriously harm you.

O - Oral (How do they feel about oral? Do they prefer giving or receiving?)

I don't think he has a preference between the two. He loves the sight of you on your knees, trying to fit his cock in your mouth, tears in the corner of your eyes due to the brutal pace he's set fucking your face. But he also adores the feeling of your thighs wrapped around his head, unintentionally pulling him closer to your cunt. The feeling of it pulsing around his tongue when he finally makes you cum, the little whines and moans you let out from the overstimulation.

P - Pace (How fast/slow are they?)

He's fast with his pace, he swears he can't help himself. The feeling of your tight walls wrapped around his cock, practically begging him to pound you into the mattress with all the force he can muster. It's your fault for feeling so damm good.

Q - Quickie (How do they feel about quickies?)

He loves them so much! He's usually busy writing his songs or in the studio recording, so quickies are always a yes for him.

R - Risk (How willing are they to experiment? Do they take any risks?)

He loves experimenting, but he's usually the one to initiate it due to his impulsive behavior. If it’s something you're not willing to try he'd absolutely respect that. But if you brought something up? Oh baby he's down to do whatever as long as it doesn't put either of you in danger. Wanna try out bondage? Go ahead and get comfortable because you'll be tied up for a while.

S - Stamina (How many rounds can they do? How long can they go for?)

When he's not high out of his mind, he doesn't go that many rounds usually 2 will be enough to get him tired. But when he's off some? Ooh boy you better prepare yourself. This man is a beast when he pops a pill, you'll be so exhausted by the time he's finished. Expect around 4-5 rounds with him before he's all out of energy.

T - Toys (Do they have any toys? Are they willing to use any?)

I don't think he has that many to be frank, at most he has a vibrator or two, maybe a cock ring if you wanna be bold. I think he's so cocky and confident about his skills that he finds them to be unnecessary. Sometimes if you're having trouble cumming he’ll take one out and use it on you, but it always gets out of hand due to the fact that he wants to see you squirt from the toy. “Cmon baby, I know you can do it. Don't you wanna make me happy? I know it'll feel so good for you so just relax and squirt all over this toy”

U - Unfair (Do they tease you? How unfair are they in the bedroom?)

I fear this man is the biggest teaser throughout the whole show. He'd find a way to tease you about anything and everything. In the bedroom you are not getting a MOMENT of peace. This man will edge you and overstimulate you all in the same night. He’ll find a way to tease you about the noises you make, saying “Aww baby, you're being so loud! Am I making you feel that good? Don't be shy, you can admit that I'm the best at making you cum.”

V - Volume (How loud are they?)

He's not too loud when it comes to his noises, just occasional growl and grunt. He's definitely into dirty talk though, a lot of it. You'll hear him say stuff like “That's my good bitch, taking my cock up her cunt like the good girl she is. Don't worry baby, I'm gonna make you feel so good you won't know what to do with yourself.”

W - Weird Fact (Self-explanatory)

He's always wanted someone to do a line of coke off his cock while he was hard.

X - X Ray (What’s it looking like in those pants.)

He's about 5’11, a little on the thinner side, but he's still toned. I think he's a lot girthier than he is long, so about 5.7 inches, but his girth makes up for it. His tip color is a deeper pink color, around #E0676B. He has a slight curve down, with a thick vein running down the left side of his shaft.

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive? How often do they have sex?)

This man wants to do it with you every day. Not only is it the drugs that get him worked up, but just seeing you looking so damn sexy just being yourself, he could take you anytime anywhere, regardless of who's around.

Z - Zzz (How fast do they fall asleep after sex?)

I feel like he falls asleep very fast. After he's done making sure you're okay, he's slumped. He is not the type to wait for you to sleep first before he does.

(I've cooked with this one guys I cannot even lie. Thank you all sm for the recent support! I truly appreciate all the attention my work has gotten!)

Taglist:

@xera4170

[tmasc-confessions]

That @tfem-confessions blog is pissing me the FUCK off!! “Oh don’t worry sweetie some transmascs aren’t vile 🥺” A MAJORITY OF TRANSMASCS AREN’T VILE!!! 99% OF US AREN’T VILE!!!

AND THEN YOU’RE ALWAYS LIKE “remember not all transfems are like this!!! most of them are lovely and not bigoted at all 💕💕” (and it’s fucking true) but SHE CAN’T RETURN THE SAME ENERGY?! JUST. FUCKING WHATEVER. I think you should start letting us reciprocate that energy because it’s fucking sick what she’s doing.

That entire blog reeks of transandrophobia and intersexism. Allowing ppl to use “tme/tma” just because you wanna avoid discourse is absolutely vile. Allowing ppl to make truly disgusting generalisations about transmascs (notice how they never say “some transmascs”, it’s always just “transmascs”.) I fucking hate this. We as a community can’t have ONE THING.

Signed, a really pissed off intersex transmasc who wishes people could be normal about us for half a second.

I actually argued with 🪼 over whether this should be posted or not because I feel like it barely toes the line, but I will, because I actually want to clear up a misconception here.

She didn’t “steal” this blog. She asked me very politely whether she could start a transfem variant of this blog and me and 🪼 discussed it and we said yes. This isn’t even an original blog idea, the whole shtick is actually inspired by another blog.

Setting that aside… yeah, I see what you mean. It does suck that people generalise about us and it also sucks that those generalisations are just blatantly allowed on that blog.

I won’t deny that many of the asks posted feel genuinely transandrophobic, but then again, just like I as an average perisex transmasc don’t have a keen eye for transmisogyny and can’t really notice it unless it’s very surface-level, I would expect the average perisex transfem to have a similar difficulty with identifying it. At least I’d like to think that’s the issue because the alternative (that she might know and is just posting them anyway because she doesn’t care) is really depressing and she just genuinely hasn’t given me the impression of being a transandrophobe from the few times we’ve interacted.

About the “reciprocation” part — fuck no. We’re not going to let transmisogynistic generalisations on our blog just because a few dozen of them are bigoted towards us. That’s infinitesimal compared to the size of the community and attacking it as a whole for the action of less than 1% would be vile.

“But they do it to us-” INCORRECT. Some of them, a handful of them do it to us and I consider that to be absolute vile too but reciprocating bigotry will only put you on that exact level; that of a bigot. And it will make your words just as wrong as theirs.

And about the tme/tma part; yeah. I don’t really have anything to say, because I think you’re right. But, well, both me and @/intersex-confessions have tried explaining it so there’s not much more we can do about it. I agree with the last paragraph in general but I do wish it wasn’t coming from someone who, quite frankly, reads as “eager to be transmisogynistic”. If you’re going to spew hateful rhetoric, you are not welcome to do it here. Those are our sisters and we’re not hosting that shit on our blog.

[thelamentknight]

Lucian Lovelace

190 (19 in human years)

Male

Székelys

Vampire/Incubus

Pansexual

Aquarius

Hometown is Briar Valley

Twisted from Draculaura

Diasomnia

3rd Year

His Best Subject is Astrology

He’s in the Film Analysis Club

His Favorite Food is Red Velvet Cake

His Least Favorite Food is Garlic

Dislikes people assuming he’s related to Lilia Vanrouge

Hobbies include Reading Fanfic, Shopping, learning Hot Gossip, Writing stories and fanfic, watching bad love reality tv shows, watching romance movies, and reading romance books

Talent: Putting on Makeup well (since he can’t see his reflection in the mirror)

UM “Vampire’s Heart.“:

When Lucian uses his UM, he sucks blood from someone’s neck, to which he can then track that person’s location for 24 hours using the sound of their heartbeat. He can only do this one person at a time, so once he sucks blood from someone else’s neck, he can no longer track down the previous person.

Lucian is friendly and easygoing, and is one of NRC’s several flirts. He’s quite the romantic, and does yearn deeply for “True Love.”He’s a social butterfly, and can make friends very easily. He’s a bright and bubbly fellow who loves chatting (especially about Hot Gossip going around NRC). Lucian is usually in positive spirits, and it isn’t hard for him to get up again after feeling down. He’s also kind of a trendsetter at NRC, so Lucian is basically one of the popular boys of NRC.

Lucian is the son of Duke Lovelace. The Lovelaces are a high ranking Noble Family in Briar Valley. His Mother is a Succubus while his Father is a Vampire and the Head of the Lovelace House. Lucian Mother’s d!ed of a fatal illness when he was young, so he doesn’t remember much of her. Lucian is the Lovelace heir, as he’s an only child.

Fun Facts:

+ He is constantly asked if he’s related to Lilia Vanrouge. He’s not

+ Gives everyone very cutesy nicknames (Their names but in a cuter way). He even gave Malleus one

+ Garlic isn’t deadly for him, nor is it deadly for other vampires. He just thinks it tastes and smells nasty

+ Shopaholic

+ As he’s a half Incubus, Lucian needs energy from physical touch. So with friends, he’ll do things like hug them or hold their hand or put his hand on their shoulder or back. He’ll back off if his friend doesn’t like being touched

+ He really likes Valentines Day…Mainly for the aesthetics and chocolate

+ LOVES romance and romantic stuff

+ Popular on Magicam (Cater really wants a collab)

+ Has a soft spot for cute things

+ Fanfic Writer (loves writing)

+ All of his belongings are in Black and Pink. Also lots of hearts

+ Loves fabulous and mysterious Galas and Balls

+ Cannot STAND Diasomnia’s ugly greens

+ Has an Ex he doesn’t want to talk about (his Ex cheated on him)

+ His bed is a literal coffin. He also sleeps with his arms crossed like he’s a c*rpse

+ A bit of a procrastinator

His nicknames for the Twst Boys

His nicknames for my Twst OCs

Voice Claim

[answithvanzz]

can i rant about Taco [bfdi] for a bit? No? well too bad 😃

She had SO much missed potential it’s crazy. She was such an interesting character and it sucks that they changed her personality post-split. Don’t get me wrong, i still love her and she’s still my absolute favorite bfdi character no matter what, but her personality was changed so much post-split and that makes me sad.

[More yapping under cut]

Pre-split, Taco was shunned from her team, which let us see a lot about her personality. She was competitive, clever, but also pretty reckless and stubborn, which is a good thing. A character can’t be a good one without flaws. She also had a sense of leadership, which was shown in bfb 1, when she lead her team to the basket, making her pretty independent and prone to taking matters into her own hands.

However, in post-split bfb, her personality changes a lot. She still has a few occasional moments where she acts like her pre-split self while competing, but she became almost a caretaker to blocky and woody which she probably wouldn’t have done if she had her old personality. After the split, she just became another bland character to shove in the background, and it sucks, it feels like the writers just didn’t have any more ideas for her. She was a very popular character pre-split, but they took away every interesting part of her character and replaced it with someone who complains alot and that played a big part her downfall and being overhated by fans.

If she had joined tpot, and kept her old personality, she would have been a way more substantial character and have way more opportunities. She could’ve been a great team leader, with her competitive and cleverness, combined with her abilities like her athleticism and heat resistance. Plus she would’ve been the perfect character to be suspicious of One! In bfb 29, she’s the one to point out that the announcer is hiding something, while nobody believes her. Which could’ve fit SO PERFECTLY with the whole current situation in tpot.

I do have more i wanna say but I’m tired and i forgot lol

also obviously this is biased since Taco’s my favorite character, [also this sucks because i suck at doing character analysises and wrote this tired asf the night before my school resumes after winter break] and I don’t have anything against post-split Taco [I love her either way], i just would’ve preferred it more if she joined tpot or just kept her personality.

Anyways thank you for coming to my Ted Talk and have some Taco images i got from the latest tpot episode

[osohchoso]

Blood and Chains

Chapter 5- Is There Someone Else?

Choso x F!reader

Previous | Chapter Index | Chapter 6 coming soon!

Content: fluff, date night, keeping secrets, reader has trust issues, small mention of blood, suggestive content MDNI

Every detail of that night remains burned into your brain. The way he looked at you, the way he smelled, the way he tasted. It was a night you will never forget for years to come. The day you were finally able to start calling him your boyfriend. 

That night, he slept in the bed next to you, instead of curled up on the couch all alone. You changed into your favorite pair of pjs for him, a silky pink set consisting of shorts and a cropped cami top. When he saw you in it, you swear he almost fainted. So used to seeing you in just casual or comfy clothes, never something as revealing as this. Though, part of you hoped that they will be on the floor by the end of the night. 

He joined you under the sheets a moment later, wearing only a pair of deep purple pajama pants. Your eyes roamed over his shirtless body, finally able to take in his muscular form. Large pecs and sculpted abs, he resembled a Greecian statue. Slipping in under the covers, you instantly wrapped your arms around his body. Hands feeling the hard muscles underneath his scar lined skin. Fingertips tracing lines that follow the shape of the rough marks, a story of hardships etched into him, his body tensing with each touch.

He tilted your chin up to look at him, lips parted as he gazed deeply into your eyes. Within the next second, his lips are pressed against yours. Tasting your own cherry chapstick off his soft lips. Your teeth gently graze his bottom lip, sucking lightly. A small moan escapes him and he returns the favor. Strong hand gripping the hair at the back of your head, tilting your jaw up toward the ceiling. He leaves feather light kisses down your neck, stopping at your collar bone to leave a soft bite. Heat pools to your core, your hand sliding down his stomach toward the waistband of his pants. 

Before your hand reaches the edge of his clothing, his free hand grabs your wrist to stop you. Holding your hand gently in the palm of his own while looking into your eyes. His breath coming out in quick pants, heart pounding out of his chest.

“How about…we just cuddle for the night?” He speaks gently, offering a soft smile. The hand behind your head moves to sweep a strand of hair from your face, now unable to hide behind it during your embarrassment of being caught. His other hand releases your hand he was clutching, and you retract it to yourself.

“Sorry…I was just caught up in the moment I guess.” you blush and look away, slightly ashamed. It has been a while since you have been intimate with anyone. You started to get a bit excited to have someone who looks the way he does, your now boyfriend, in your bed. He cups your cheek, rubbing his rough thumb over your soft skin.

“You have no reason to apologize, because if I’m honest I want that too…but I also don't want to rush things with you.” he brings his nose to yours, nuzzling against you. “And waiting will make it so much sweeter” he whispers low. Your face heats immediately underneath your skin and a low rumble of laughter vibrates in his throat. You set your burning head down against his chest, the fire on your cheeks seeping into his skin. The steady beat of his heart pumping against your ear as it lulls you to sleep. 

That was the best sleep of your life you decided the next morning. Choso really is like a big cuddly teddy bear, wrapping his arms around you the whole night. Enveloping you in his warmth. You wanted to spend the whole next morning in bed, bodies pressed against each other, but reality had other plans. 

Buzz buzz! Choso’s phone rings, he picks it up and frowns at the incoming call.

“Sorry this is work, I need to take this.” He gets out of bed and walks to the other room, shutting the door behind him. You can hear him speaking sternly in the other room, his voice just barely low enough that you can't decipher the words he's saying. A few minutes later he returns, wearing an expression of annoyance.

“I'm sorry… I'm needed at work” he leans down to kiss your forehead. “I'll call you later okay?” 

“Okay” you smile, trying to hide the disappointment of his abrupt departure. You were hoping to be able to enjoy a relaxing Saturday morning with him. Making him a cup of coffee, cooking breakfast together, watching some TV in your pjs. Something so simple and domestic yet it sounded perfect. He easily saw right through the fake happy mask you wore to hide your true feelings. Reaching down, he grabs your hand and lifts it up close to his lips, planting a soft kiss to the back of your hand.

“I promise. I'll call you as soon as I'm done working” he whispers against your skin, thumb skimming lightly over your knuckles. With that, he gathers his things and leaves. He kept his promise too, the second he got home he called you right away, asking all about your day.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

A few more weeks pass by, and Choso's girlfriend comes so naturally. Texting all day long, calling each other at the end of the night until you both pass out on the line. He visits you more often now too, spending the night holding you to him as his little spoon each time. You started buying extra toiletries for when he visits and he leaves spare clothing and other items around the apartment, a constant reminder of his presence. Still, you haven't gotten intimate together yet. The mystery of what lies beneath each other's clothing testing both of you. While waiting is a tease, you still don't mind. Knowing the anticipation is just going to make your first time together so much more special.

You enjoy every second with him, despite the rules he put in place. Choso had insisted on two major rules at the start of this relationship. He wanted to keep you a secret, insisting it was for your own safety. You were skeptical, feeling like maybe he was ashamed to be seen with you in public, but you agreed still. Deciding to put all your faith in him.

The first rule was not to tell anyone about your relationship. This killed you, because you wanted everyone to know. You wanted to take pictures together to post on your socials, to tell your friends, to shout it from the rooftop. The other rule is not to be seen in public together. Another let down as you were excited to go out on a real date with him, and not be stuck in your apartment watching movies every time. He doesn't even invite you over to his own apartment, always just coming to visit yours. He claims he put these rules in place for your own safety, and reminds you of it every time you complain about it. This is kind of annoying, but you hope that in time, things will change. 

Choso, however, has broken both of his own rules. How could he keep such a big secret from his little brother? Yuji would have started to suspect it sooner or later anyways with how often his brother was absent from his own home, and Choso didn't want to have to make excuses. So he decided to tell him the truth immediately, making Yuji swear on his LIFE to keep it a secret. Choso also couldn't resist visiting the caf�� you work at. Coming in, he pretends to be just a casual acquaintance to any watching eyes. Part of you thinks he really is only coming to satisfy his caffeine addiction. Though the longing looks and the purposeful brush of his fingers against yours tells you otherwise. 

Sunday morning, you enter the café bright and early for an opening shift. It was hard for you to leave the bed, Choso still peacefully asleep next to you. You practically had to pry his arms off your waist as he held you in his sleep. Part of you really debated on calling in today, just jumping back in bed and dozing off again. But you didn't, the fact that you were the only one working the opening shift, that no one would be available until noon, swayed your thoughts. Moving slowly, you change into your work uniform, fixing your bedhead and applying some light makeup so you look somewhat alive this early. Glancing at Choso every so often, watching the steady rise and fall of his chest, his fingers twitching from your absence. Before leaving you planted a few quick kisses to his forehead, he hums softly in response.

Once the café opened for the day, you were immediately hit with a rush of people. Many the same age as you, looking like they are hungover and seen better days. You laughed to yourself remembering the last time you and your friends went out drinking. You and Emi trying to support the weight of Suki as she stumbles out of the club. It was a miracle you all made it home still in your heels considering how much the three of you drank. That was before you met Choso, you haven't seen them much after meeting him. Rescheduling your plans with them to give yourself more time with him and his busy life whenever you can. You make a mental note to plan a night with your girls soon.

After the rush passes, you brew yourself a cup of coffee. You will need the energy to keep going the rest of the day. You pull your phone out to check for any messages from Choso, wondering if he's still in bed or if he will be there waiting at the end of your work day. The front door swings open and you quickly push your phone back in the pocket of your apron. 

“Welcome in!” You say cheerfully, eyes closed shut as you wear a big smile. When you open your eyes you spy a familiar pink haired boy. A wide grin on his face as he stands in front of the counter, wearing that navy blue uniform with the golden buttons, a red hood sticking out from underneath. 

“Hey Y/N” he continues to smile, waving excitedly.

“Yuji!?” you ask in disbelief, Choso has shown you enough pictures of his little brother that you recognize him immediately. You pinch yourself, thinking the caffeine rushed to your head and created a hallucination. What is he doing here? He leans on the counter, elbows resting on the wood, hands propping his head up as he looks at you.

“So you're the one who stole my brother's heart” he laughs warmly. “I'm glad…he's been needing someone, and from what he's said you're very kind. He needs someone like you.” 

“Thanks” You twirl a loose string of your apron as he showers you with compliments. “Still…why are you here Yuji?”

“Oooh I was just stopping by between jobs, and thought I should meet my big bro's girlfriend for myself” he smirks. “Plus he says this place has the best coffee”

“You're not wrong…I'll make you something” you tell him. As you brew him a latte, extra sweet like he asked, you wonder how much Choso has told his brother about you. Clearly, he's not following his own rules but expects you to. He tells his brother everything about but you can't even tell your friends you're no longer single. He visits you at work yet you can't even come to his apartment. It's a double standard and it's starting to bother you more than you want to admit. You set the coffee down in front of Yuji, brows still furrowed in thought.

“You okay?” he asks, taking a sip of the hot drink.

“Yeah, I'm fine” you do your best to soften your expression, trying to wear a disguise that hides your fears, trying to convince yourself that everything is ok. Yuji raises an eyebrow, clearly not buying it. Just as perceptive as his big brother, easily seeing right through you.

“You can tell me. I know we have only just officially met…but I already know so much from all of Choso's yapping. I feel like I've known you my whole life.” Yuji giggles, you can't help but join in.

“I could say the same. I know almost everything there is about you thanks to him.”

“My brother gets like that when he really cares for someone.” Yuji smiles, stirring the coffee. “Come on, tell me what's wrong.”

“Okay…” you take a deep breath, gathering the thoughts before you voice your concerns. “I guess, I just don't like hiding our relationship. It makes me feel like he's hiding something from me.” You frown as you speak these words out loud for the first time. You want to trust him, but your past makes you over analyze every little thing. “I just worry about how he really feels about me” Yuji's usually cheerful face turns serious.

“I promise you, Choso really cares for you. He does. You have to be one of the most important people in his life, probably even surpassed me at this point.” He flashes a smirk at you before continuing. “Choso can be…overprotective. That's just how he is, trust me. The first year I lived with him he acted like a helicopter parent, never letting me do anything on my own. So he's just taking precautions for what he feels is best to keep you safe, even if it comes off as overbearing and sneaky.” 

“His last relationship ended horribly, I don't know what he's told you about her. It’s not my place to say, but I think he will open up when he's ready. I think he's really scared of messing things up or getting hurt again.” Yuji continues, a glimmer of sadness in his eyes as he thinks back on his brother’s heartbreak. “It was really rough on him, I never want to see him go through that again. He’s always trying to be the big, capable older brother for me…but sometimes I need to take care of him too. Promise me you'll treat him right?” Yuji looks at you with big pleading eyes. You reach out and grab one of his hands, looking into his golden-brown irises.

“I promise Yuji! I would never ever dream of hurting Choso.” You intend to keep every word of this promise. You release Yuji's hand. “I just wish we could have a normal relationship. I want to walk in the park with him, go out for drinks with my friends. I don't like being a secret” You frown as you imagine the normal relationship you dream of.

“I'll talk to him. I think he's acting a little excessively. He might listen to me if I try to reason with him.” Yuji finishes his drink and hands the empty mug back to you. 

“See you around” he waves as he exits the cafe.

“Bye Yuji, take care” you call after him.

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

The next few days come and go, you haven't seen Choso once since Sunday morning before you left for work. He was called into a job before you could make it back to your apartment. Since then, your work schedules haven't been lining up to see each other. The time you did have off of your job was spent working on the final project for this semester and studying for exams. Instead, you have to settle for long late-night chats with your boyfriend at the end of each day. Still, you missed his physical presence.

It's odd for you to have a Thursday evening off, all you had was morning classes and it was the last day of the semester at that. Now you're off of school until the coming fall. It's even more rare for you to have work off the following day. Though you have no complaints, you settle down into your couch and prepare to start reading the book Choso bought for you a week ago. A vampire romance novel, he thought you might like it because of how much you like Twilight. 

Before you can even open the book, you pull your phone out and think about inviting Choso over. Hoping that by chance he would have some free time tonight too. You prepare to type a message, but you receive one from him before you can even hit send.

Choso: Hey little flower, what are you doing?

You can't control your smile. He started calling you that cute pet name the day you two became official. You're not sure how he came up with it, but each time it never fails to brighten your day.

You: Nothing actually, I'm off today and tomorrow.

Choso: Perfect, I'm almost there!

You stop suddenly. He's on his way?? A surprise visit is so unexpected from him.

You: What would you have done if I said I wasn't home??

Choso: Be sad :/

Choso: I'm coming with a surprise!

Your head buzzes in excitement for what he could be surprising you with. Quickly, you rush to the bedroom to change out of your lazy day sweats and into something nicer. Pulling out a flowy maroon dress that is both cute and casual. You say a silent thank you for the fact you decided to shave yesterday, legs looking smooth and flawless. Glancing in the mirror, you make a few touch ups to your hair and makeup. As you stand back to admire yourself, you hear a key turn in the front door. It startles you at first but then you remember giving Choso his own key to lock up when you leave for work while he's fast asleep.

You bounce down the hallway, excited to see him. He stands by the kitchen table, wearing tan pants and a black button up shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbow and the top few buttons undone, showing a peek of his bare chest underneath. His hair styled loosely, free from the pigtails today. Having his hair down is one of your weaknesses and he knows it. Seeing him like he is now takes your breath away. Completely lost for words.

“You look beautiful” he smirks as he takes in your appearance. He walks forward, holding a bouquet of deep red roses. “Some flowers for my little flower” he leans down to kiss your cheek and thrusts the bouquet into your arms.

“Cho…you're so thoughtful. And, wow…you look amazing.” Your cheeks flush slightly as turn your head toward the roses, briefly pressing your nose into them and breathing in the aroma. “What are you doing here anyway?” you ask as you move to retrieve a vase from under the kitchen sink, filling it up with water. 

“Well, tomorrow is our one-month anniversary, you know.” You giggle at his explanation, not expecting him to want to celebrate something as small as one month. “And I was off work tonight and tomorrow, I couldn't wait to come see you. I just had to surprise you.” His eyes crinkle up in a genuine smile, one you love to see him wear.

“Are you taking me out!?” you blurt out excited as you place the roses into the vase. His smile falters slightly.

“No. Not out. Yuji has been trying to convince me to stop worrying so much but I don't want you to become a target. It's not safe, please believe me.” 

“I believe you Choso” you sigh as you rearrange the roses inside the vase. He moves to stand right behind you, his hard chest pressed against your back. His breath tickles your ear as he exhales.

“But I still wanted to treat you to a date night. I want to show you how special you are to me.” His fingers gently move the hair away from your shoulder, his other hand holding you tightly around the waist. He lowers his face to meet the bare skin of your neck, inhaling your scent. Lips begin peppering your soft skin in kisses, eliciting a soft gasp from your mouth. He moves from your shoulder, up your neck and finally your ear. “I missed you so much” he whispers before nibbling your earlobe. 

“I missed you too” you turn your head to look at him. He smiles, satisfied with your response to his touch. He releases you from his grip and backs up, leaning against the kitchen table.

“I thought we could cook dinner together. No ordering out, no movie. Just a nice dinner, you and me.” you glance over to the counter and notice a couple paper bags marked with the logo of a local grocery store.

“That sounds great, Choso. What are we making?”

“I thought maybe we could make a salad and some pasta” he moves over to the bags on the counter. “Are you hungry?” He asks you. Your stomach growls in response.

“Yes…I am” you admit with a laugh. “Are you a good chef, Cho?” you ask.

“I like to think I am. I'll let you decide after tasting my cooking.” He walks over to your cupboard and starts rummaging through, looking for the utensils he needs. He found a large pot and began to fill it with water. “I only recently started cooking when I moved in with Yuji. He showed me that there is so much more to food than just nourishing your body. There are so many different tastes to explore. The first year we lived together I swear I gained 20 extra pounds” he laughs.

“I'm not a very good cook” you admit as you watch him place the pot on the stove burner. “I'm better at baking.” He smiles and pats you on the top of the head with his large hand, messing your hair up slightly.

“That's okay, you can help with an easy task. How about the salad?” He hands you one of the paper bags. You peer inside and notice different ingredients to create a Caesar salad. “And maybe later you can whip us up a sweet treat. Or maybe I'll just have you for dessert” he pokes your nose with a smirk on his face before turning back to the pot to add the dry linguine noodles to the boiling water.

“Damn tease” you mumble, rubbing your nose where his finger touched. You move to the counter next to the stove and start adding the lettuce and croutons to a wooden salad bowl. All that's left, besides the dressing, is to add the cheese. You pull out a cheese grater and begin to shred a block of parmesan into the bowl. You glance over at Choso and watch as he starts to work on making a sauce in a smaller pot. No store bought from a jar sauce, no, he is making it from scratch. Using a mix of various ingredients, like fresh cream and cheese. The smell is absolutely divine. You admire watching him, his insane focus on the concoction, how his arm muscles bulge as he stirs the wooden spoon around.

“Fuck!” You shout suddenly. In your distracted state, your hand slipped, slicing the side of your index finger across the cheese grater. 

“What's wrong!” he drops the spoon immediately, letting it fall on the floor with a loud plop! Creamy sauce splattering everywhere. Panic spreads across his face as he searches yours.

“It's nothing, just cut myself a little.” your thumb on the opposite hand holds the cut, applying pressure. His concern doesn't subside. He lifts you up onto the only free counter space left, having you sit on it with your legs dangling off.

“Let me see” he holds his hand out. You show him your finger, a few fresh beads of blood forming the second your thumb releases the pressure. “It's not bad,” he admits. Moving to the sink, he grabs a few squares of paper towel, wetting it under the faucet. He gently cleans the cut, using light touches to not irritate the skin further. Then he finds the band aids you keep under the sink, wrapping one around your finger. 

“My precious little flower, you need to be careful.” he whispers, bringing your hand up close to his mouth so he can apply a kiss on top of the bandaged finger. He moves back to clean up the mess from when he dropped the spoon. You go to jump off the counter to return to making the salad but puts his hands up to stop you. “Nope. No more sharp objects for you. Just sit there and look pretty for me alright” he smirks.

“Aww but I still want to help” you pout, he shakes his head. 

“Sorry, cooking is now off limits for you, my clumsy girl. Just sit back and watch me” he throws away the paper towels and retrieves a new spoon from the drawer. You watch him as he goes bad stirring the pot. Spooning out a small amount and lifting it to his mouth, tasting the mixture. His pink tongue darts out to lick some of the cream off his lips, his throat bobbing as he swallows. He lets out a hum of contentment.

He scoops another spoonful, this time moving to stand in front of you on the counter. His body positioned between your legs, the spoon hoovering before your lips. 

“Want to try?” He asks. You nod, opening your mouth for him as he moves the spoon closer. You wrap your lips around it, holding eye contact with him as you taste it. It tastes absolutely delicious. Rich and creamy, layers of cheese, a hint of something spicy. 

“Wow Cho! This is...amazing!” You watch as his face lights up at your praise. 

˚　　　　✦　　　.　　. 　 ˚　.　　　　　 . ✦　　　 　˚　　　　 . ★⋆.

Dinner was phenomenal. Never have you had such a good meal in your life, and never would you have guessed Choso was that good of a chef. You definitely want him to cook for you more often, especially if you get to play the part of princess on the counter, not having to lift a finger as you watch. Though, since he did all the cooking, you decided to do all the cleaning. There wasn't a ton of a mess to clean up anyways, just a couple dishes used to create the meal.

While you were in the kitchen cleaning up, Choso excused himself to the bedroom. He promised to return momentarily but he was taking a suspiciously long time. You finish drying the last plate and place it back into the cupboard. As you do, you hear Choso calling your name from the bedroom. You follow the sound of his voice and see him sitting on your bed. The lights in the room off, but several candles are lit and scattered around, setting the mood. Giving the area an aura of romance. 

To your disappointment, Choso had changed out of his outfit from earlier. No longer is he wearing those form fitting pants and open buttoned shirt, trading it for something new entirely. But much to your delight, he sits on the bed completely shirtless, his well sculpted muscles on full display. On his legs, he wears dark gray shorts with a dangerously short inseam. The contour of the muscles in his thighs catch your attention, and it takes all your strength to not run up and cover his quads in bites. 

“Choso...” your breath catches in your throat slightly, eyes scanning the setup of the room. He smirks at you confidently as he rises from the edge of the bed. “What's going on?” You ask, a slight heat gracing your cheeks as you imagine what he might want to spend the rest of the night doing.

“I have another surprise for you” he walks toward you, holding a hand out and motioning for yours. You place your hand into his palm and he wraps his fingers around it. He leads you over to the bed. “I thought it would be nice to give you a massage tonight.” He continues. “I know your classes have been stressing you out lately and I haven't really been around to help you. I want to do something special for you tonight.” You sit down on the edge of the bed, Choso bending down to rest his forehead against yours. 

“You're so sweet Cho” you reach a hand up to twirl a strand of his hair.

“Anything for you” he leans in further, face close to your neck. His lips brush gently on your exposed collar bone, leaving a few light kisses there before he moves up to meet your lips. You kiss him back, matching his passion, getting lost in the moment before he stands tall in front of you. “Now lay down and get comfortable” he smirks while cracking his knuckles. 

You lay back and turn over, situating yourself on your stomach. The bed creaks as Choso positions himself over you, his knees resting on either side of your upper thighs. Reaching forward, his index finger hooks one of your dress straps around your shoulder.

“It will be easier if you slip this off. You don't even need to take it off fully, just so I have access to your back.” He whispers. You realize he is right, and slip your dress down your body until it looks nothing more than a skirt clinging around your waist. “Much better” he whispers. You feel his weight shift as he settles on the back of your thighs.

His hands move to your shoulders, brushing your bra straps down your arms to give him better access to where he needs to focus. His fingers move slowly and methodically, making circles into the muscles. Your shoulders have been tight lately, with you hunched over your desk working on your final project for one class or studying on your laptop with another. As his fingertips dig into your skin you can practically feel the tension melting away along with all the stress from the previous semester.

“That feels great Cho” You hum, a sigh of contentment escaping you. He briefly moves up your neck, carefully not to apply too much pressure to this sensitive spot. Then his large hands travel down your upper back, smooth rhythmic strokes to ease your pain. Choso is paying attention to how your body responds under every touch, adjusting his technique as necessary to make this the most relaxing experience possible. No one has ever treated you with this much care, this much attention. Hell, no one has ever even offered to massage you like this before. His fingers trace around the edge of your bra, poking the clasp at your back.

“Can I?” he asks hesitantly.

“Yes” you reply, barely a whisper. 

He unhooks the bra effortlessly, your back bare before him. Returning to his role as massage therapist, he works up and down your back. Applying varying depths and pressure, making sure to hit every screaming muscle you have. He's relaxing you so much that you are on the brink of sleep, eyes closed but fighting mentally to stay conscious. The soothing smell of lavender and vanilla radiating from the candles. In this state of bliss, you completely lose track of how much time has passed. It could have been 10 minutes or 2 hours, there was no way to tell.

Just as you are about to drift away to a quiet dream, you snap back to reality. Choso's fingers now replaced with his lips as he leaves your back covered in tender kisses. You shiver beneath him. His fingers dig into your exposed hip as he kisses up your spine toward your neck. Leaving a hot trail where his lips touch your skin. 

“God…you drive me wild” he growls into your ear. You can feel his arousal growing, resting firmly against your ass. Burning heat radiating from his clothes through yours. Heat that your body mirrors in response, instinctually craving him just as he does you. 

“Choso…I want you..” you murmur softly. His body seems to move on it's own, holding your hips against his as he grinds slowly against you. A tantalizing rhythm that makes you want more, need more. You flip over to face him, gazing up at him. His face immediately flushes pink at the sight of your exposed breasts, unable to tear his eyes away. You feel his hard cock throb through his shorts. Your admission was all he needed to continue.

“I need you…so bad” he whispers, your name falling off his tongue like a desperate prayer. With help from his fumbling hands, the two of you slide the rest of the dress off your body, leaving you only in a pair of black lace panties. You wrap your legs around him to pull him closer to you, his face inches above yours as he looks down with hungry dark eyes. The thick outline of his aching length twitching in the confines of his shorts as he fucks you with his eyes.

With one hand, he locks his fingers with yours holding it hostage above your head. His other leaves a trail of light touches over your waist and up to cup your breast. Thumb brushing lightly over your nipple, causing a soft moan to escape your throat.

“You're so beautiful” he breathes out onto your lips before crashing his mouth to yours. Enveloping you in a soft yet possessive kiss. Your free hand travels down his toned body, reaching the hard length restricted to his gray shorts. His teeth grasp your bottom lip with a gentle tug as you palm him through the thin clothing. Releasing your lip with a low moan, he looks down at you. Panting, eyebrows upturned, a pure picture of need and desperation. Your own breathing quickens as you reach for the waistband of his shorts, you need to feel him against your skin.

Buzz buzz!! Before you can remove his clothing, the vibrations of his phone on the nightstand rudely interrupt you. He grumbles and attempts to disentangle himself from you, releasing your hand he had held captive. Though your legs refuse to release him from your grip.

“Sweetheart” he murmurs, looking at you. “I need to check that…it could be important” he frowns.

“Choso…” you pout as you reluctantly release his waist from your thighs. He pushes himself off the bed to walk over to the phone. His eyebrows furrowed in irritation as he unlocks it to read the message. You know it can only mean one thing, his stupid boss sprung a stupid last-minute job on him. “Don't leave me tonight…not like this” you sit up on the edge, crossing your arms over your bare chest. He lets a long and frustrated sigh.

“I'm so sorry, little flower. They always do this to me, but it should just be a quick job. I promise. I'll be gone maybe an hour and a half tops.” He walks over to the overnight bag he brought, pulling out a familiar uniform with gold buttons.

“Can't you just ignore them? You were supposed to have today off” you shift on the bed, crossing your legs as you watch him change. He turns around, buttoning the last golden circle near the collar.

“No, I can't. Trust me, I wish I could, but it's not possible. I think they would kill me if I tried.” His eyebrows pressed in a tight v as he imagines the consequences. “I'll be back soon. I promise you, and then we can continue this” he smirks slightly before cupping your pouting face in his hands and planting three sweet kisses to your forehead.

“Be safe,” you whisper. 

“I will. I'll be back soon” he promises before turning to exit the room. You listen as he makes his way out of the apartment, hearing the click in the door as he locks it behind him.

You lay back on the bed with a frustrated sigh, staring up at the ceiling fan. A million questions plague your thoughts, brought on by your own mistrust through past relationships. Am I not good enough? Is he not attracted to me? Did I do something wrong? Is there someone else? You want to trust Choso, you really do. He doesn't seem the type to cheat and sneak around, but he's just so secretive sometimes that you can't help but doubt him.

It was your last relationship that ruined you, that made you like this. That completely broke your trust, stomped all over your heart. The only person you have ever been in love with. You were with him for a year, and he made you feel…special. Showering you with love and kisses, presents every time he saw you. You never suspected a thing. You fell head over heels, and thought he felt the same. Eventually you saw through the lies, the deception. He was sneaking out after sleeping with you, ghosting your dates that were planned weeks in advance, coming up with excuses like ‘work’. You tried pushing those thoughts away, telling yourself he loves me. It wasn't until you saw a message on his phone from another girl that forced you to connect the dots. While you knew it was wrong, you looked through all his messages. Seeing countless different girls and hookups, all under the impression they were his girlfriend too. That was the end, a year wasted with a piece of trash like him.

But Choso is different. He is genuine, and he's kind. He shows you his love and care both through his words and his actions. Your night wouldn't have felt this special if it was all an act. Surely his own brother wouldn't have defended him so loyally if this meant nothing. Unless he was also given misinformation. He wouldn't lie, wouldn't cheat on you. Right?

The secrets, the mysterious job he hides from you. It reopens the wound of mistrust. You refuse to fall into the darkness again, refuse to be hurt by another man. You just need one answer, one confirmation that he's as loyal as you want to believe he is. 

Before you know it, you're changed. Wearing skintight black leggings and a shirt, covering your head in a dark beanie. This is stupid, you tell yourself as you reach for the door handle to exit the apartment. Nausea bubbles in your stomach, threatening to vomit up the pasta from dinner. You slip into the shadows of the street, avoiding the dim lights from the passing buildings and the streetlamps. You wish you could make yourself go back inside and sit on the couch and wait for his return. But something needs to ease the growing seed of worry inside. Just to make sure he's not sneaking off to another girl, to confirm you're his one and only. To protect yourself.

In the distance, you can barely make out his outline, he hasn't gotten far. His hair now pulled back up in his usual pigtail fashion, bouncing around under the streetlights. Keeping your distance, you tail him. Concealing yourself to the shadows as you follow.

You wish you would have just turned back to the safety of your apartment, as this night unfolds into a nightmare. The night everything goes wrong.

dividers by @thecutestgrotto

Taglist: @lavenderdaydream97 @angel04-01

Likes, comments and reblogs greatly appreciated :) <3

[grubbyposting]

Taking my (foot taller than me) pet puppytwink cissoid’s anal virginity cause he begged me, only for him to say “god im such a FAGGOT slut, what would my father think…?” as I’m fucking his ass (so good that he shot cum on his own mouth) (twice), seeing the fear in his eyes as I threaten to rip his pretty deer throat out and suck out his blood, followed by him worshipping my hairy thighs with his tongue as he thanks me for fucking him til he went dumb and drooly was actually the cure to my dysphoria all along

(after this he immediately comes out to his whole family as a faggot and gives me his fucking Xbox 🤭) #winning

(Sappy shit under the cut.)

ok but I’m gonna get a little sincere on the horny blog…

He also just, loves me. And just so happens to have *also* loved me as my weird girl self in middle school. To make a long, beautiful, complicated story short… we met as kids in school, and bonded because we both liked furries and FNAF. He got me chocolates for Christmas in sixth grade, and after some hmming and hawing, I found myself helplessly adoring his quirky, dainty, gentlemanly self, too. He thought I was cool and loved me best he could with his young little heart. He showed me his Undertale game on one of our dates to his house and we played and laughed and had so much fun. But I was trapped in a shitty home full of surveillance (cameras, monitoring, sexual shame, control, and the standard queerphobia). A culture that made me feel ashamed to be myself. It hurt me bad and twisted me into someone I’m not proud of being.

When he asked to kiss me… I said no.

I felt so ashamed of myself and disgusted at my desires.

I broke his heart shortly after, I couldn’t take the shame. Both of us went on to go through relationship hell for eight years.

I was terribly cruel to him in high school because of telephone game drama. I believed I was doing the “right thing” by spreading the rumors. I thought I was being so righteous and good, but sometimes that hurts people way worse than you can even fathom. Autistic people and those raised into white womanhood, heed my warning…

Both at our lowest, both off the tail ends of messy, messy shit, both desperate scared and longing, horny, sad and… after playing secret horny tag in DMs for years… (my friends hated him because of the drama)

I say fuck it, wyd?

I tell him outright. “I’m not here to love you. But I’m here to show you a good time tonight.”

After. he thanked me, said he felt like he could actually touch the world and impact it.

I have him come back the next night…

We watch fight club… we talk about masculinity, philosophy, spirituality, existential fear, what it means to us… he cuddles me and we dig deep.

I tell him I’m not here to love him but… I think I need him in my life right now.

I started to feel understood by another man… who desired me…? A cis one? Even if he does have chest scars from his ribcage surgery that closely resemble top surgery scars… what a coincidence…

He shows me Berserk. He spends the night. We talk, and laugh, and fuck, and stay up til the wee hours of morning cuddling and chatting and both start to notice what the hell is going on. Someone, save us now… it’s happening… it’s happening and neither of us are wanting to stop it… fuck!

I told him. I give up. I love you! I am delighted at the person that you are! I missed you so badly! Eight years collapsed into nothing the moment we could melt into each other’s arms.

“I love you too.”

He asked me to fight on that fourth day. My blood went cold, because I was so desperate to ask myself, but he was the only one with the courage. We threw fists and I gave him the prettiest black eye. He marked my face and bruised my body. That was 11/11/24.

I was never the same.

I had to confess to my friends that I fell in love. I shook and cried and was so scared. This had to happen. I’m fighting for what I need. Some got mad, some got confused, all of them not pleased with me. But… they turned around. I turned on the charm and said, fuck it, I’m gonna be happy. I told them all about the person he was. I walked back the rumor and gave it context. I wanted to clear this beautiful man’s name, because it’s a name I only feel love for.

I left my toxic girlfriend of three years who didn’t know how to love me. I forgive her. But that needed a wake up call. He saved me, not by fixing it, not by asking me to leave her, but by showing me a world I deserved that I didn’t think was even real. I left to pursue a happy life. He showed me conflict is a tool, passion doesn’t have to come at a cost, and difference is a strength. He showed me stillness and peace and exuberance and freedom. He showed me how to accept my whole self. I showed him how to love his.

My angriest friend eventually asked me how to open in her first DM to him (“I can’t believe you did it, but you made me a fan. I’d love to be his friend”).

We had dinner together (she practically chased us down!) and it was a beautiful full circle moment. We were all in the same class together years ago.

We shared family Christmas this year, I clicked with his parents completely (“hey, remember me…?”) and finally, I felt like I didn’t need to doubt anymore. It’s the real deal, and I pinch myself every single day. I’m blessed, truly.

I showed him Rocky Horror recently. He got it. He loved it. He said he felt it gently take a piece of his negativity, dissolve it, and inspire him to live a freer life. Just like it did for me all those years ago, when my repressed little self found it and fixated on it, not even knowing why. Not understanding I could claim my desires. Not understanding I could choose to be a happy gay man who fucks nasty.

I cried, helplessly. I finally made it, to my gay love and my hopeful queer future full of art and life. I just know little us are so proud. They set us up, after all.

And yeah, I kissed him.

But I didn’t ask.

I love my gay life.

It got better. Hold on, lonely transfags and sad bi boys alike. True love (and fucking til you bleed) awaits you!

[murfpersonalblog]

IWTV Musings - LDPDL & Nosferatu 2024

We all know & love AMC!IWTV's canon that the Unholy Family saw Nosferatu in 1922, and busted a gut rotflol over Hollywood's vampire.

But if Louis saw Nosferatu 2024, in the wake of Lestat in NOLA, and esp. Armand in Paris/SanFran/Dubai & Claudia's death, I reckon he'd be triggered on several levels. Ofc, one doesn't need to see Nos24 thru Louis' eyes/POV to recognize all the themes about the predatory nature of vampiric seduction, let alone the devastating ways vampires affect/abuse/take advantage/wreak havoc on human vulnerabilities like religious mania depression, mental illness, and suicidal ideation. But let's go for it!

The Closeted (Isolation, Repression, & Mental Illness)

In IWTV, Louis was a closeted gay man who had to grow up always hiding who he really was, for fear of punishment by his uber-Catholic family as well as society at large. Homosexuality was not only considered a mental illness, subject to extreme forms "treatment" including solitary confinement in a sanatorium (mental asylum--the same place his mentally ill brother Paul had already been sent that made him "worse than before"); but also a crime punishable by incarceration or even death.

I've long said that "Rashid"/Armand's treatment of Louis esp. in Dubai was more like a nurse than a servant--the kind of nurse that hates their job (being "stuck on suicide watch") & whose bedside manner effing SUCKS, having no patience for the mentally ill & no capacity to properly take care of them; just making things worse.

In Nosferatu, Ellen was always "touched" as a child, having the 2nd sight that allowed her to always know ahead of time what her Xmas gifts were, and know the date her mom would die. Her mean father thought she was a freak and had her closeted away & isolated from society, the family embarrassment. Even after she got married, Thomas' BFF Friedrich barely tolerated Ellen, and when her seizures started he had her tied & doped & corseted up--all the worst ways of caring for her that likely did more harm than good. Ellen even called him out on it, knowing Friedrich tied her up cuz he hated having to deal with her in the first place "I tire of discussing her; can we please talk about something else; the entire household centers around her fairy whims!," and got sick of her being in his house anymore.

Book & Hearth's video analysis of Ellen's mental illness in Nosferatu says this:

So, Louis/Ellen are both people stigmatized by Victorian society for things that were never their fault (homosexuality, mental illness, etc), either socially closeted/isolated (Louis) or spatially closeted/isolated (Ellen).

(Lestat kept whining in 1x3 & 2x7 about how the worst thing a vampire can feel is loneliness--as if that's not awful for humans to feel, too. 🙄 Esp. since vamps are immortal, they've got all the time in the world for someone to eventually show up & fall in love with them; unlike humans, who grow old & decrepit & die in no time flat.)

We see the extreme lengths Louis & Ellen would go to, to alleviate their loneliness & desperation for companionship, and their desire to feel seen & close to someone--even if that someone was the Devil himself: a vampire.

"Come to me" - Loustat & Orllen

Both IWTV & Nosferatu use Come to Me. It's a motif as old as Dracula itself, so it's par for the course, really.

"Come to me, Arthur. Leave these others and come to me. My arms are hungry for you. Come, and we can rest together. Come, my husband, come!" --Lucy Westenra, Dracula

But both shows play around with it in interesting ways.

In IWTV, Lestat repeatedly chants C2M/Viens a moi to lure Louis to him. In 1x1 Louis actually runs away, fleeing to the church & prayed to God to help/kill him; only for the Devil/Lestat to show up & "give you death" by making him a vampire. But in 1x6, Lestat uses the song "Come to Me" to "get a rise out of" Louis, who swims the Mississippi to take his estranged husband back. But during the Trial, Lestat lied on Lou and accused him of saying C2M to "accost" Les instead--the human seducing the vampire. Meanwhile, Lou still has Les's master recording of C2M in 2022, which he plays for Daniel in Dubai--again proving that Les was lying on Lou & weaponized C2M against him.

Nosferatu24 plays the human-calling/seducing-the-vampire straight, where Ellen literally summoned Orlock. Lonely, she'd prayed to God for a companion, "a spirit of comfort," but accidentally roused the Nosferatu from his sleep as she kept repeating "Come to me."

Ellen accidentally called Orlock, and Lestat hunted Louis down--but both characters are still guilt-ridden by their open-armed acceptance of their vampire lovers, once they eventually realize that the person they thought would be their comfort/safety had only taken advantage of their loneliness, desperation & ignorance about their situation and the type of creature these vamps really were.

Louis' relationship with Armand doesn't 1:1 fit, since they never use C2M per se, but Armand DOES approach Louis similarly to Les, as the charismatic vampire who stalked Lou before finally confronting him, luring him & Claudia into the Theatre to recruit/convert them to his crazy AF coven/cult; and then using a series of lies, manipulations & brainwashes to take advantage of Louis' trauma post-Banishment to keep Lou as his (un)willing companion for 77yrs after killing his daughters.

The Death of 2 Daughters

Orlock's murder of Friedrich's 2 daughters is a chilling scene. The Nosferatu puts a spell on Friedrich while he's sleeping, his hand casting a spectral shadow over Friedrich's face to keep him pinned in his bed and trapped in his nightmares. Meanwhile, his 2 daughters & wife are screaming for him to help them, but Friedrich can't move or wake up, impotently clutching the gun in his hand as his wife & kids are slaughtered bu Orlock, just down the hall from him.

Orlock has both the little girls in his clutches, and throws them down like sacks of potatoes once he's done draining them, as their mother Anna helplessly watches, screaming, before he kills her, too.

This is painfully similar to how Armand instructed the coven to fog the minds of Claudia, Madz & Louis whenever they tried defending themselves, on top of their ankles being slashed so they couldn't move, escape, or fight back--esp. not once Lou was dragged away kicking & screaming to be buried alive, ensuring that he'd be helpless to do anything to save his 2 daughters from being murdered. The last thing he ever heard Claudia say was her screaming his name.

(Since this is 2024, Louis wouldn't yet be privy to the details Lestat reveals in S3 (2026). But if Lestat's also watching Nos24, he knows even more about Claudia's final moments than Lou does--that feeling of helplessness is only amplified by the fact that she's HIS literal Blood Child--he'd've felt her die the same way Louis felt Madz die. Drained after using his Mind Gift to save Louis with Banishment, Lestat's too weak to save Claudia as she burns. The last thing Claudia ever saw was her father just standing there, uselessly watching Armand & the coven burn her to death.)

Sexual Inhibitions, Awakenings, Stigmas, Salvation

Louis is often mocked/derided in the fandom as a d**kmatized Pick Me who only thinks with his loins to stay with toxic AF Lestat's "considerable considerables;" after years of closeted sexual repression.

"Do you remember the best you ever had? So imagine that flowing inside your veins again. Now multiply it by miles, to the rings of Saturn and back...." "He had a way about him, those first years, Lestat. Preternaturally charming, occasionally thoughtful. He was my murderer, my mentor, my lover, and my maker--all of those things at once. He had taken what he called un petit coup, the Little Drink. Not enough to kill me, but just enough to keep him fit. It takes an enormous amount of restraint for us, the Little Drink. For a human, experiencing it for the first time, it was…unsettling. And not for the physical toll on my body, which was significant, but for the feelings of intimacy it awoke within me."

Lestat's seduction of Louis was a sexual revelation/awakening, but it also spooked TF outta Louis. He fled Lestat's house in a gay panic, "vowing never to return." I also discussed how Lestat's C2M in 1x1 was dubcon/noncon, and mirrored Lestat in Paul's head, making both him AND Louis feel unclean.

She sank on her knees on the floor in an agony of abasement. Pulling her beautiful hair over her face, as the leper of old his mantle, she wailed out. “Unclean! Unclean! Even the Almighty shuns my polluted flesh! I must bear this mark of shame upon my forehead until the Judgement Day.” -- Mina Harker, Dracula

(Lou was bored to dangit death with Armand in SanFran (the gay mecca where he'd been enjoying his 2nd wind/try at a gay sexual awakening), mocking Armand for having been forced into ascetic celibacy by the Children of Satan, who made him forget he had a working peen (Lou was obvs mad that Armand wasn't using said peen with Lou--the Bed Death Truthers were right all along, LOL).)

Meanwhile, Ellen was outright called a "sinner" by her father when he found her lying naked after a (Orlock-induced) fit/orgasm.

Orlock stayed with Ellen for years, an incubus visiting her in her dreams & having sex with her (the best she'd ever had, as she later throws in Thomas' face, "you could never please me like he could"); but also throwing her into fits/seizures--"at first it was sweet...and then it turned to torture!"

In the end, LDPDL & Ellen use their sexual prowess to distract their vampire husbands long enough for their Murder Plots to be accomplished--a la Mina Harker in Dracula.

Louis is literally instructed by Claudia to seduce Lestat, keeping him distracted with sex while Claudia plans how to poison & kill him. Louis is afraid to fall back into the "well with no bottom" and "lose myself in him," and Claudia promises to be his salvation--pulling him out in time to strike the killing blow to Lestat.

Ellen is another femme fatale who welcomes Orlock into their marriage bed, where she forcefully holds him close as he notices the sun rising; keeping him distracted with sex long enough for the sunlight to cook him to death as she hemorrhages under him. Her suicide is her salvation/martyrdom, as she frees herself (and the whole town) from Orlock's clutches.

(Again, Armand doesn't have as neat of a 1:1 fit, since Louis doesn't distract him with sex to defeat him. But Louis still plays up his seemingly helpless submission to get Armand to allow the interview to continue, as if Daniel isn't threat, and as if Louis doesn't suspect Armand of foul play--at least not until the end of 2x5 ofc. But Armand constantly wrests control back, and by the end of the interview in 2x8 he ALMOST wins. Louis doesn't defeat Armand or save himself at all here--DANIEL defeats Armand & saves Louis instead, showing the leagues of difference between the threat Armand posed vs Lestat. )

[discordantdream]

Back in the early 2000s I was at one of my giant family reunions, with my husband I'd met online. Everyone was up in arms over my great aunt (in her late 70s at the time) who had brought her own Internet beau. A lovely divorced gentleman in his 80s who was finally bringing her joy. They were each other's first real loves and you could just see it in their eyes every time they looked at each other. But small town dipshit family were outraged that she met someone (gasp) online (gasp) at her age (gasp).

What I took from that? 1) my family sucks (they also treated my husband like shit and ignored him) and 2) it's never too damn late for love and happiness.

There's no age limit on finding and chasing dreams, on trying new things, on taking chances, on finding yourself.

My 40s are my best decade yet and I can't wait for my 50s to see what they bring.

reminder that 30 isn’t old, it’s very normal to not accomplish everything in your 20s, and that it is never too late to learn that thing you’ve always wanted to learn. you’re always growing. that’s a good thing. 

[violetflowers55]

Hot & Cold - Chapter 1

(Dr. Phosphorus x fem!reader)

Synopsis: Since there’s not enough alien criminals, you got stuck in the monster section of Belle Reve. And of course Waller put you on Task Force M. To make matters even worse, the guy who landed you in prison in the first place is right there, never leaving you alone. But maybe, he can compensate you in more way than one…

No content warnings needed for this chapter (that I can think of). No Y/N usage

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Being imprisoned sucked. Being imprisoned in Belle Reve sucked more. Being imprisoned in the monster section sucked the most.

You’d had a good five years to figure out how to, well, not thrive, but do a bit more than just survive. Fight when someone else instigates - not enough to get you thrown into isolation, but enough to scare off everyone else for awhile. Don’t piss of the guards, but also don’t be a suck up, they hate that even more. Don’t make friends because they’ll either die, get transferred, or turn on you. There was only one thing you hadn’t figured out yet. Well, two if you count figuring out how to escape. When Waller pulled you for a super secret special mission, your first thought was that maybe you could figure out at least one of your two remaining problems.

The sun bore down on the six of you as Waller and Flag carted you into a military ship. The feeling of its warmth was one you hadn’t felt in a long time, and it was gone too soon. As you got wedged between two other freaks, you finally looked to see who else was pulled for the super special top secret mission. On you left was Weasel, some freaky rodent you didn’t really know. On the other side was The Bride; you’d never met her before but you figured she was The Bride since she looked like she would be Frankenstein’s bride. Across from her was a robot and across from Weasel was some fish girl. The only person you knew was sitting right across from you. As much as you tried not to, his green glowing skeleton was hard not to look at, and the two of you locked eyes. Or, at least, it felt like you did.

“Wow. After all these years, and we’re finally reunited on a mission to save a princess. Who would’ve thought?” Dr. Phosphorus said, in a tone that you knew meant he was grinning. You scoffed. “I would’ve thought we’d be reunited by you breaking me out of that hellhole.”

“You two… know each other?” the fish girl asked.

“No.” you said firmly, hoping to put an end to the conversation.

Truthfully, you had met before, back in Gotham. You ran into each other while trying to rob the same bank. He threatened to burn your “pretty little face” off, you threatened to break all his bones and leave him an immovable fire. Not exactly love at first sight.

“She just doesn’t want to admit she’s totally in love with me,” he whispered to the girl.

“Don’t think my threat to break your bony ass doesn’t still stand.” Despite your threat, you could still feel him grinning at you. You couldn’t tell if it was his gaze or his literal flames that were heating you up.

When you finally arrived at the castle, breaking free from being squished up against your fellow monsters felt almost as good as being let out of isolation. The castle looming in front of you was shockingly beautiful. You silently cursed yourself for not trying to take it over while you were free.

As the seven of you were escorted inside, Phosphorus slowly drifted over to walk next to you. It took every fiber of your being not to look at him. But being so close to him, you had to admit his warmth felt nice.

Then at dinner, he of course was quick to make sure he sat next to you. When you and the Bride rolled your eyes and his obviousness, he tried to casually explain it away by saying “Us Gotham guys gotta stick together, right?”, but his nervous chuckle gave him away. Soon enough, dinner was served, distracting everyone. It’d been far too long since you’d had real, good food, and just like the others, you scarfed it down. When you finally paused and looked up, you noticed the princess staring at you.

“Forgive me, I do not mean to stare. I was just… I mean no offense, but I thought America had forbidden human criminals from missions such as this one?” Princess Illana asked.

The table went silent, except for Weasel’s aggressive eating noises.

You tried to smile. “I know I look like one, but I’m not human.” It was hard to hold her gaze; you just didn’t have it in you to explain further. She muttered a simple “Oh”, and the previous chatter and eating resumed shortly. Except for you, your appetite was gone.

“You ok?” Phosphorus whispered, noticing you pushing your food around with your fork.

“Yeah, I’m fine.” You still couldn’t look at him, but this time it wasn’t because you didn’t want to.

“I know you’re fine,” he teased.

“Shut it,” you snapped before he could ask if you were ok again.

For most of your life, no one knew you weren’t human. You were great at hiding your powers. The only reason the whole world knew you were an alien was because your stupid defense attorney thought that being an alien somehow made you exempt from the law and used it at trial. As you sat there, all you could hear was the gasps of the courtroom when he revealed your secret, and all you could feel was rage spreading throughout your body. Then you remembered how pitifully he cried when you killed him, and that calmed you down enough.

After dinner, everyone poured out into the courtyard, and you reveled in the bright warm sun. The feeling of its heat on your skin was practically euphoric. You laid down on the soft grass, shamelessly sunbathing.

“Trying to get a tan on?”

Opening one eye, you saw Phosphorus standing over you.

Ugh, why can’t he just leave me alone?

“You’re blocking my sunlight.”

Carefully, he laid down next to you, his fingertips dangerously close to yours.

“I get it, you wanna have something to show off to the loser inmates who didn’t get picked when we get back.”

You groaned. “You know nothing.”

“Mmm, maybe. But I want to know everything,” the teasing tone in his voice was gone, replaced with a low, almost seductive tone.

You thanked God you could blame your blushing cheeks on the sun.

“Oh, can it, skelly.”

He chuckled, but let it drop. The two of you laid there together in silence until the sun started to go down. At least your bedroom was sure to be warmer than your prison cell.

[rebouks]

It's been a while since I read your story and sadly I come here today as a hater: I'm afraid you're not cooking with this romance storyline with Robin. Seeing him kiss Aster was the weirdest thing because he's the most asexual character I've seen in a while. You joked how people didn't believe Robin would get a smooch but it's still not believable, at least not to me. Sorry, but I'm not eating what you're serving. I hope you don't take this badly. But if you do, you have the right to kill me.

There's also something that gave me pause: the reveal that Penny cheated on Levi once and will likely do it again, and probably with Jacob since she has a crush on him.

I just can't see Jacob entertaining Penny. First, Jacob would never accept Levi's sloppy seconds. And second, I think Jacob has an arrogant side that would clash with Penny's attitude of thinking highly of herself. "I'm too good for you" is what I see coming from him regarding her. He's a womaniser but he has taste, and Penny is rotten to the bone like Victoria. And because they're teenagers, Jacob ridiculing Penny as an indirect jab towards Levi would be so realistically petty. There's nothing quite like hitting your enemies from all angles. I'm sure Bruno taught him that. And with Levi being such a doormat, it seems it'll take somebody else to put that girl in her place and knock her down a few pegs.

And Penny's reaction to being rejected for the first time would be a sight. It's what she deserves.

And speaking of Bruno, he must come back! Ivan and Francesca are cute I guess but Brivan is still the 5-star dish and I like the spice Bruno brings to your story. Imagine if Francesca's crazy ex turns out to be an actual problem and Ivan had the bright idea of hitting up Bruno when he realised he couldn't handle the guy? "We split because I wanted to return to this life and you didn't, but now you come here asking the mafia to get involved in your life again so we can help you sort out a guy...? You've lost your mind. You and your woman just need to go to the police like everyone else with an abusive partner. Now get out." but then think twice when he meets the guy in question when he contacts Bruno's family to buy an illegal firearm from them, babbling how he's going to "fix" his ex's new boyfriend and get her and his son back. Initially, he'd be hurt Ivan only sought him for the sake of his new girlfriend, but Bruno will be damned if anything happened to the man who owns his heart and their little daughter. And we know he doesn't mind getting his hands dirty, huh? :3c

Hmmmm maybe you're not wrong to refuse what I'm serving! Maybe it was made in a shitty diner by a jaded cook who didn't wash their hands and thought rat droppings were sprinkles?? FFFFFFF.. no but I get it, Robin and Levi's plan kinda sucked from the get go and him kissing Aster like that was pretty uncharacteristic.. but alas he is a teenage boy with bad decision making skills and false bravado from his little gift, so here we are.

I will say that he's definitely not asexual tho and if I have, I didn't mean to give off that vibe for him.. believe me, most of these teens, including Robin, are thinking and (sometimes) acting on thoughts right now, wink wonk (hell, I know I was at that age) but it's not something I particularly feel like being too graphic about since they're still teens y'know? I've mostly just implied or alluded to such things when necessary, so my bad if that's not coming off too well, but rather that than be too crass.

I may have joked about Penny cheating on Levi with Jacob, and she definitely would if given the chance, but I think you're right that Jacob wouldn't be interested in her, she's far too high maintenance for him and he'd totally be against the idea of touching Levi's seconds like.. no thx! 🫣 I would love to see her try and get shot down for sure tho, that'd be hilarious!! Someone needs to take her down a peg or two one day! Part of me hopes it IS Levi who does so, but we'll have to see.

Hmmm hmmm hm.. Bruno! As much as I still love Brivan I don't think there's even a slight chance Ivan would ever go to him for help, especially since he went back to that life, even if he thought it'd help. He's so against everything it stands for.. it almost took his life, Oscar's in a roundabout way, Cookie's?! and it DID suck Bruno back in, he's waaay too stubborn and proud as well like, Bruno fucking left him for THAT? Are you kidding??? Fuck crawling back to him for ANYTHING, nope. he'd never! Now, that's not to say Bruno wouldn't jump in without Ivan's permission but (and I'll let you off for this cos we don't know Lee too well) he's way too much of a coward to take matters into his own hands like that. He's just not dealing with losing Frankie/Sawyer in a very healthy way, hence the bullshit spewing from his mouth. He's probably asleep on the job or some shit atm, not buying firearms from Kaden n' co. in Oasis Springs, however exciting that may be.

All that being said, I hope you still like the direction I go with all these threads, because they ARE all going somewhere. We're just dealing with people who don't always make the best decisions at the end of the day and that's what makes this stuff interesting to me! We don't always have to like the path or the choices these guys make but hopefully they all learn something along the way! Or not, I guess? That's also fun sometimes lmao 🤸‍♀️

[nudibranchpropaganda]

followed you because when you reblogged my bad communication post i loved your url !! do u have any nudibranch propaganda to share?

Hell yea i do!! This got a little long :)

These funky little dudes have the coolest morphology, something theyre well known for. They can be pretty tiny (0.4 cm) or surprisingly large (60 cm) and generally live in the tropics, though there are certainly a wide variety that live in cooler ocean water as well. Some of the more well known species are very eye catching, like the Jorunna Parva (Bunny slug) or Glaucus Atlanticus

Some of them look like funky leaves and some of them look like slugs we see on the surface too! (Did you know licking banana slugs that you find on land makes your tongue go numb? 10/10 not recommended but i was a dumb kid)

They also come in a goth or clown variant for those that are looking to fit a certain aesthetic :)

Theres two kinds of nudibranchs. Dorids, which breathe from a central plume of gills above their ass, and Aeolids, which breathe from a collection of spiky protrusions called cerata. There are a couple more distinguishing features relating to their digestive tracts and mantles (or lack thereof), but this is the easiest way to tell them apart in my opinion!

Theyre also carnivorous! These guys will eat a wide variety of stuff, including sponges, coral, barnacles, anemones, and even other nudibranchs and their eggs.

There are a couple species that have some pretty cool diets, like the Glaucus Atlantica, which preys on the portugese man of war and other siphonophores. It can eat the man of war whole if theyre small enough, but will also just eat the tentacles if theyre too big. Glaucus will then push the stinging nematocysts (the bits that hurt) from its insides to its outsides and use them as self defence!

There are also sea slugs, like the Costasiella Kuroshimae (technically not a nudibranch yada yada yada) that eat algae they then use to photosynthesize!

These funky little creatures are also hermaphroditic! Like a lot of animals, they use mating dances to attract a partner. Thats not whats cool about their reproduction though. When the time comes to lay their eggs, they do so in the coolest ribbon-like structures.

Mostly though, i just love how different all these little guys are. Personally, my fav nudi is from the ocean near where i live!

Anyways, that was rlly long. thanks if u ended up reading and defs look into these little weirdos on ur own!! (references? idk her :P but actually i dont remember where i learned most of this, though some supplemental info and pics w out credits from wikipedia!)

[skiagraphe0]

My Aunt Judy is a (cis) lesbian who fluctuates between high femme and very masculine presentation. Her wife, Rachel, is a trans woman who loves makeup but otherwise dresses like a tomboy. She'll wear flannels, jeans, mean's shirts, t-shirts, hiking boots, old work boots, etc. because she loves them. They're natural to her. Some days Judy dresses like Rachel does. Some days Rachel does makeup like Judy does. They're both women.

Women don't have to pick a singular way to be a woman. You can be multitudes of things. You can be one thing. You can be a mix of tomboy and femme, or pure tomboy, or anything else you want. You're you. Of course you don't look identical to someone else - you're not them.

There is no wrong way to be a woman. I see a big push online not to shame super feminine girls, and that's good. We also need to not shame women who feel most like themselves not being high femme. We need to not shame women who only like eyeliner, or who only like jewelry but otherwise prefer a masc-leaning presentation, or who otherwise don't fit into conventional ideas of what a woman 'should' be.

I know I'm a trans man but I still feel my heart break for people like OP. Because I know how must it sucks to have everyone tell you, "There's one correct way to be a gender" and feel like you're failing at it. I know how exhausting it is to try to explain again and again that you're just being yourself. And it's awful to see it being done to trans women, because it's just so unfair. No one gives my Aunt Judy this treatment for dressing more masc than OP some days, just due to her being cis.

These double standards are ruining people's joy and I hate that. Why can't we just let women live their lives without scrutiny?

A woman is a woman, regardless of her physical appearance.

Last night I sat down to write the text post to accompany this comic, but I began spiraling. There were so many things that I wanted to say that before I was even halfway through it was already three pages long.

I’m just going to truncate my thoughts.

It wasn’t the questions that bothered me, it was that I wasn’t believed.

It was that they doubled down and told me that I was “repressed”.

It was that me saying their words hurt me was apparently the wrong thing to say, and I was attacked for doing so.

It was that they told me they didn’t mean to hurt me when I knew that and already said so in my initial text to them.

It was that they told me that they were “going out of their way” for me.

One – trans tomboys exist and just because I might not want the same things you do, that doesn’t mean that my experience is invalid.

Two – I am not your charity case trans person that you need to “go out of your way” for.

Three – I thought I was your friend. In my mind, when you help a friend you’re not “going out of your way”, you help because you genuinely want to and don’t even think about whether or not it’s an inconvenience.

Four – no matter what, I still consider you a friend and though I need some time, I hope some day we can share our journeys with each other again.

#trans#transgender#gender#genderqueer#queer#LGBT#LGBTQ#HRT#comics#webcomics#ImStillAlex#hormonereplacementtherapy

[bamsara]

I saw this question on another artists page and I got curious. What’s a trend/headcanon that you’ve noticed in the fandom that you can’t stand? And is there a reason why?

I'm not a fan of answering this question because I think if I talk about what hc I dislike, it'll influence or invite dogpiling on a HC

Also I don't really...dislike other people's hc? I don't even like it when people say 'mischaracterization' for someone's interpretation of a character since everyone's personal view on a character is their own deal (and I think theres a lot of Bad when you have one characterization to be the 'correct' one regardless of how popular it is) Like there's no wrong or right way. Same with HCs

If asked what technical fanfic stuff I dislike and I could tell you how some paragraph formatting is hard to read but actual other people's creations/hcs I don't fume over. I'm writing/drawing exactly what I want to see anyway so like. why would i care

anyways peace and love on planet earth and love what you want forever

[baejax-the-great]

If I were a writer at a big game company working on a sequel to a beloved series and the higher ups kept telling me to make the game shittier and kept sending my work back to me to be dumbed down even further somehow, and then once most of the writing was done they laid me and my coworkers off illegally without severance, I'd probably gleefully watch as people trashed the shitty game that shipped.

[silverwhittlingknife]

So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!

No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)

25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim

This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!

OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:

WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3

Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)

I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!

Below the cut:

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)

On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)

Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)

I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)

I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)

I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)

1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)

2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)

3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)

4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)

5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)

On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)

6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)

7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)

8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)

9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)

10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)

Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)

11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)

12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)

13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)

14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)

15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)

I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)

16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have.  If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)

17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)

17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)

18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)

19) In my head he’s the responsible one.  (Gotham Knights 10)

I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)

20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)

21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)

22) I trust him.  When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)

23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)

24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)

25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)

Final rambling thoughts:

TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.

SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.

And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf

All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.

But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!

Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.

And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --

-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3